Total Drama Return
by MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour1
Summary: When Chris throws the twenty-five original contestants into a battle for two million dollars, what could it result in? Disaster, hilarity, and drama! Contains scenes of GwenxDuncan, AlejandroxHeather, LindsayxTyler, GeoffxBridgette and OwenxIzzy. This challenge, the teams are going to be formed, and it's a sudden death elimination!


**Total Drama Return Episode 1 Part 1: A Not So Friendly Reunion**

**Authors Note: This story is rated T. There will be minor swearing, and areas of romance, but nothing about first base, and occasionally a bit of second.**

**It takes place straight after TDWT, so TDROTI never took place. Don't worry, some of the characters on TDROTI will make cameos and other appearances.**

**This story contains scenes of GwenxDuncan, GeoffxBridgette, TylerxLindsay, IzzyxOwen, and AlejandroxHeather. Other fanon couples will be introduced along the way but for the sake of suspense I will keep them a secret. **

**Also, please don't hate on my story. I've worked really hard on this, and I want it to be a success. Too many haters, and I'm stopping this.**

**Thank you to The Kobold Necromancer for inspiring me to make this story ;), now please enjoy my story.**

* * *

Chris MacLean stood on the dock of shame, fussing about his appearance as usual. The host stood frazzled, trying to perfectly align his hair.

"How's my hair looking?" He asked to an off-screen camera-man.

"We're rolling." Said the camera man. Chris composed himself quickly.

"Greetings and salutations! I am Chris MacLean, coming to you live from Muskoka, Ontario, and this is Total Drama Return! We've been stuck on an island. We've been to the movies. We've even been around the world. But now, we are back to where it all began. Camp Wawanakwa!" He cheered, gesturing to the scenery behind him. As he spoke, the door to the Mess Hall fell off it's hinges, and Chef Hatchet poked his head out.

"Yeah, it's not exactly in tip-top shape, but that's what'll make this season so fun!" Said Chris. He rubbed his hands together in glee.

"Anyways, this time around, your favourite twenty-five competitors won't be battling it out for one million dollars. Oh no, they will be battling it out for two million! With double the money at stake, it'll surely have double the drama!" Said Chris. Suddenly, a boat pulled up to the dock.

"Ah, here's our first prisoner…er, I mean, camper!" Said Chris. A lanky boy with red hair, glasses, and a blue t-shirt stepped off the boat.

"Yes! Back to where it all began, and I'm gonna take it all!" Said the boy.

"Harold, good to see you buddy. Did you gain a few pounds?" Said Chris. Harold patted his stomach.

"It's just some extra burrito weight, gosh! You don't have to point it out so blatantly." Said Harold, stomping to the other side of the dock. Chris laughed.

"I love tormenting them. Oh look, here's the next camper!" He said. A shriek came from the boat, and a tanned girl with short purple hair, a yellow tank top and jeans leaped off the boat.

"Camp Wawanakwa! This is where is all began! Oh my gosh, I am so super, super, super excited!" Shrieked Sierra.

"Ah, one of our newcomers, Sierra! I see your hair is growing back after you blew up my plane last season," Said Chris, with a hint of resentment in his voice. Sierra didn't seem to care as she pulled out her camera and began to take photos of the campsite.

"So, is he here? My knight in shining armour? My sugar frosted Codio?" Pleaded Sierra, her eyes shining up with hope.

"Sorry to burst your bubble Sierra, but no, he isn't. Now go to the other side of the dock. Sierra gave a little shriek of joy and obeyed. The next boat arrived, and a Latino beauty stepped off the boat.

"Alejandro, niiiiice. I didn't expect you to look this good after your…incident last season." Said Chris. Alejandro shuddered, remembering the volcano.

"It took a lot of plastic surgery, but I'm back, and as beautiful as ever." He said with a smug tone.

"Yeah, but this time no-one is going to even listen to you. No-one likes you because you backstabbed almost everyone last season." Pointed out Harold.

"OMG, I know! Alejandro became one of the least popular contestants after last season! I don't know if anyone could be stupid enough to fall for him again." Said Sierra, and she promptly blew a raspberry at him. Alejandro wiped the spit off his face and turned away from Sierra and Harold. Suddenly, two girls arrived at the foot of the dock and began squealing hysterically. One was tan, thin and tall, and the other was pale, overweight, and short. But asides from that, they looked almost identical, wearing the same black-and-white tube tops and pink shorts.

"Ale-hunk-dro! Oh my gosh, you are even hotter in real life!" Said Katie.

"I know, right! We are, like, your biggest fans ever!" Said Sadie, hugging him. Alejandro grinned at both of them, and then smirked smugly at Sierra, who slapped her forehead.

"Well, Katie and Sadie are here, everyone…and here is our next contestant!" Said Chris. An immensely overweight guy wearing a white shirt with a maple leaf and baggy shorts stepped off the boat, which caused the boat to rock. He cheered in joy, ran over to Chris and crushed him in a bear hug.

"Chris! Aw man, I missed you so much buddy! Did you miss me?" Cheered Owen.

"Oh, I was counting the days to see you again, Owen." Said Chris sarcastically. The lovable oaf failed to see Chris's sarcasm and ran over to the other contestants. He picked up both Katie and Sadie in a hug, who both giggled. He then gave Sierra a hug, then Harold, but when he awkwardly stopped when it was time to give Alejandro a hug.

"I'm just so, so, so psyched!" Said Owen, jumping up and down. The dock was quivering.

"Owen, stop! The dock's about to…" Chris' words were in vain, as a part of the dock collapsed, bringing Owen with it. Alejandro howled with laughter until someone pushed him off the dock too.

"That's what you get for gettin' rid of me last season, you little rat!" Seethed LeShawna. Harold swooned, and fanned himself. Alejandro surfaced, growled, and cursed under his breath. LeShawna rolled her sleeves back out and began to catch up with her friends. She hugged Katie, Sadie, Sierra, and Owen (who had dragged himself out of the water), and gave Harold a kiss on the cheek, which caused him to faint.

"Not everyone has arrived and people are already pushing eachother off the dock! I love it!" Cackled Chris. LeShawna rolled her eyes at Chris. The next boat arrived, and it contained a huge Jamaican guy with a green shirt and cargo pants.

"DJ, my main man! How's it going?" Said Chris, high-fiving DJ.

"I'm doing pretty good, thanks. I mean, I hope I have better luck then I did last season." Said DJ. Alejandro scoffed.

"You did not have a curse, you imbecile, you superstitious moron." He scoffed, folding his arms.

"Okay, plain insulting people is one thing. Insulting another person's beliefs is just wrong, Al." Said LeShawna. Alejandro shuddered at his repulsive nickname. The next boat arrived, and it contained a short pudgy girl in a green shirt and pink pants, with glasses and a brown side ponytail.

"Beth, how's it going? That's great, don't care, moving on!" Said Chris. Beth gave a sad look, and moved to the end of the dock. When she saw all her friends she lightened up.

"LeShawna! Oh my gosh, it is so great to see you again!" Said Beth, locking the ghetto girl in a hug. Owen cheered for group hugs and picked them both up in a hug. The next boat arrived. A guy with a green Mohawk and piercings and a black t-shirt stepped off the boat. He rubbed his hands together in glee.

"So, time for round four. Who wants to drop out now?" Chuckled Duncan.

"Fat chance, white boy." Said LeShawna, who exchanged a fist bump with Duncan. The next boat arrived. A nerdy-looking guy with brown hair and a cream top and jeans stepped off.

"Hey, Chris, it's great to see you again…wagh!" Cody couldn't even finish his sentence before he was glomp-tackled by Sierra, and bombarded with kisses.

"Oh my gosh Cody! It is so great to see you again! You look so hot right now!" And she went on the kiss his mouth, nose, ears, forehead, cheeks and neck, before Chris let out an exasperated sigh.

"Sierra, enough with the gooey stuff. Go stand over there." Said Chris. Sierra squealed, and picked Cody up bridal style, and ran over, where Duncan burst out laughing.

"So Sierra, how's the wife?" He asked, howling with laughter. Sierra blew a raspberry at him, while Cody begged Sierra to let him down. The next to arrive was a tan girl with brown hair. She stepped off the boat.

"Courtney, how's it going?" Said Chris. Courtney shoved her nose right up in the air and walked right by Chris. She stopped metres away from Duncan, who rubbed his head nervously.

"So Court, no hard feelings?" He chuckled nervously. Courtney screamed and lunged at Duncan. DJ and LeShawna were forced to restrain her. Courtney's fingers clawed at the thin air, and she screamed some rather putrid things at Duncan that had to be censored out.

Eventually, Courtney had calmed down and the next boat arrived. Off it stepped a tan guy with brown hair and a red vest with cargo pants.

"The party animal is here everyone! Say hello to the cameras, Noah!" Cheered Chris.

"Spare me." Said Noah tonelessly. Chris chuckled and threw a handful of confetti in Noah's face. Noah just rolled his eyes, brushed off his shoulders and hair and moved on.

"You missed a spot!" Cried Chris, but Noah ignored him. However, he was greeted by one of Owen's trademark bear hugs.

"Noah! Man, I missed you most of all! Did you miss me?" Asked Owen. Noah could barely breathe.

"Did anyone else hear that crack? That would be my spine." Hissed Noah. Owen put Noah down, and he collapsed. Everyone waited, but no boat arrived.

"Um, where is that stupid boat so we can get on with this stupid contest?" Complained Courtney, but they heard a rallying cry from above them. Above them, was a guy in a red jumpsuit hang-gliding over to them. He waved at them, and most of them waved back. However, it wasn't long before he lost control and spiralled out of control. He screamed, spiralling towards the other contestants. Everyone screamed and ducked out of the way, and Tyler flew past, and crash-landed into the water. Chris was doubling-over in laughter.

"That was by far the best entrance anyone has made, ever!" He howled. Tyler climbed onto the dock, dripping wet and shivering, but gave a thumbs up. Soon the next boat arrived, and most of the campers weren't prepared for what was next. A bald, green monster jumped off the boat. It was wearing a green hoodie and pants. It made grunting noises.

"Wow, here's Ezekiel everybody!" Said Chris, as Ezekiel began to sniff Chris' legs.

"Ah! It's hideous! Save me!" Screamed DJ, who jumped into Noah's arms. Unfortunately, Noah couldn't hold the brickhouse, and tumbled straight into the water. Duncan burst out laughing again, but immediately stopped when Ezekiel began to growl at him.

"You." Growled Ezekiel, in such a distorted voice that it disturbed most of the conetstants.

"Zeke has learnt how to speak English again, but he isn't perfect yet." Said Chris. As he said this, the next boat arrived. An Asian, raven-haired girl stepped off, seething with rage.

"Where is that feral little animal? I am going to wring his little neck in!" Hissed Heather.

"Woah, hold the horses Heather. That could provoke a few angry emails from those Canadians in the audience." Said Heather. Heather wasn't listening. She had spotted Zeke, and was charging at him. However, just as she was about to reach him, Alejandro reached out his foot and tripped her off the dock. She landed painfully in the water.

"Ugh! My hair! What was that for?" Screamed Heather.

"That was for pushing me off a volcano and using me!" Yelled Alejandro. Most of the contestants laughed at Heather, who growled and climbed back onto the dock, wringing out her hair (which had fully grown back). The next person to arrive was a male with black hair, and was wearing a green shirt with black pants. He had a guitar strapped to his back.

"Hey everyone, it's lover boy, Trent!" Said Chris, patting Trent's back.

"Chris, I'd prefer it if you didn't call me that. I'm single right now." Said Trent, rubbing his neck. Duncan looked away awkwardly.

"Awww, poor little lover boy isn't over Gwenny?" Mocked Chris in a falsetto tone. Unfortunately for the host, a certain goth girl stepped off the boat, saw Chris mocking Trent, went up and slapped Chris.

"Shut up, Chris." Said Gwen, who walked to the other side of the dock, with Trent in tow. When Duncan saw her, his eyes lit up with joy. She smiled, and grabbed his hand, and gave him a small peck. This made Courtney go beserk, and she pushed Tyler, who had just dried himself off, back into the water. A blonde who had just stepped off the next boat gasped.

"Tyler!" Squealed Lindsay, and she rushed over to help her boyfriend out of the water.

"How could you do that, Caitlin?" Gasped Lindsay, her baby blue eyes sparkling.

"For the last time, you dim-witted blonde bimbo, it's Courtney! Get it right!" Yelled Courtney. Lindsay took offense to this.

"Well…I don't like your shoes." Said Lindsay. Courtney raised her eyebrow.

"Send me to the burn unit." Said Courtney in a mocking tone.

"The what unit? Is there a makeup unit?" Asked Lindsay, who was now thoroughly confused. Courtney slapped her forehead in disbelief. The next boat didn't arrive, but in the distance, there was a jetski. On it, was a guy with a cowboy hat, and an unbuttoned pink shirt, pulling a blonde girl in a grey wetsuit behind him on a surfboard. The jetski soon came to a stop, and Bridgette did a flip onto the dock, and landed on her feet. She immediately stumbled, but Geoff caught her.

"That. Was. Amazing! Babe, you're the hottest surfer chick, like, ever!" Cheered Geoff, and he and Bridgette went onto one of their trademark smooch-fests.

"Alright everyone, here are Bridgette, Geoff, and their thoroughly mixed saliva samples." Said Chris. Bridgette's face went red, and the two backed to the end of the dock.

"When is everyone here? I'm freaking freezing, I need to change!" Complained Heather, who was still drying off. Alejandro snickered.

"There are only a few more people Heather, chillax." Said Chris, and as he said this, the next boat arrived. Off it, stepped an woman with a red dress, blue eyes and long blonde hair. She winked at the camera, and then Chris. A collective groan uprised from the crowd of contestants.

"You seriously let HER come back? Isn't the age limit for this show, like, sixty or something?" Complained Duncan. Chris sighed, and Blaineley snapped.

"I'm twenty-one!" She snapped. Crickets chirped. Noah raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, fine, twenty-four."

"We were considering just dropping her, but unfortunately she threatened to sue us if she wasn't allowed back on. So everyone, please welcome back, by not-so popular demand…Blaineley!" Said Chris. Blaineley took a bow, and blew kisses at the camera.

"I'm gonna wipe the floor with all of you!" She said, standing to the other side of the dock.

"Make sure you don't break a hip while you're doing it." Said Duncan, and most of the contestants laughed, even Heather and Courtney. The next boat arrived, and a extremely muscular woman with a unibrow and navy blue sports gear jumped off it, landing on the dock, and causing it to shake uncontrollably. Tyler lost his balance and once again ended up in the water.

"Eva, nice to see you again. You're chirpy as always." Said Chris. Eva grabbed his collar and lifted him a foot into the air.

"Spare me, McLean." Snarled Eva. She walked over to the other campers and dropped her bag. Whatever was inside it was obviously heavy and it once again shook the dock.

"For the love of gravy, what have you got in there, woman! It feels like you have the most dense, heavy chocolate cake in there!" Cried Owen.

"They're dumbbells, dumb-ass." Said Eva. Owen piped down. The next boat arrived, and off it, stepped a Hawaiian man who was extraordinarily good looking.

"Hey ladies, how you all doin'?" He said, grinning his pearly white teeth at the crowd. There was minimal response from the crowd, who stared sheepishly at Justin.

"Sorry Justin, you're not exactly the top dog any more. That spot was filled out by Alejandro." Said Chris. Justin scoffed.

"I still got it, Chris." And to prove it, he ripped off his shirt, revealing his perfect abs. Still, there wasn't any reaction, and in fact, a hint of laughter in the crowd. Justin gasped.

"Alright, now that the washed up has-been has arrived, the final boat has arrived, and it is…" began Chris, but he was cut off by a war cry from inside the boat. A flash of orange and green shot out from the boat and landed in Owen's arms.

"Alright, the master of crazy entrances everyone, Izzy!" Said Chris.

"Woohoo! Alright, time to bring in the cash! This is more exciting than the time I found that cure for cancer!" Said Izzy, pumping her fists in the air. Owen looked startled.

"H-Hi, Izzy." Said Owen, looking a bit sad. Izzy laughed.

"Aw, don't give me those puppy dog eyes, Big-O! You know I can't resist them! Just because we broke up doesn't mean we can't be friends!" Said Izzy. Owen still looked sad.

"Best friends?" Said Izzy. Owen let out an ear-splitting cheer, and lifted Izzy over his head.

"Aww, Cody-kins, that's so cute! Maybe we can best-friends-double-date with them!" Said Sierra, clutching Cody to her chest. Cody stared sadly at Gwen with puppy dog eyes, who giggled at him.

Alright, now that everyone has arrived, let's gather around the campfire pit!" Cheered Chris.

* * *

**Confessional**

**Owen** – Woo-hoo! I am so glad to be back! I don't know what I'm most excited about! The food, all my friends, the food, the cabins, the food, the food…yeah, I'm pretty excited about the food! And I can't wait to catch up with everyone! Oh, erm, except for Al…and Eva. /shudders/ She scares me.

**Justin:** I can't believe Alejandro replaced me! In Season One, I had every girl drooling over me, and now, they're drooling over him! What does he have that I don't? Does he have better abs? A better butt? Maybe I should grow a goatee, or get a piercing…

**Gwen**: Why? Why can't I be like Eva, or Katie, or Sadie, and sit out for a few seasons? They haven't competed since Season One, and I have been forced to compete every year, and each time I'm in the middle of a whirlpool made of drama, hatred and…well, mostly drama. I'm just sick of this! Argh! /Kicks a hole in the outhouse wall/

**Izzy**: /Looks at the hole in the wall/ Woah, what's happened here? Anyways, I am so super stoked to be back at camp! I remember all the good memories from Season One! Playing canasta in the cabins, dodging the RCMP by living with beavers, cuddling with my cuddly bear Owen! Man, he was a good kisser…

* * *

"Alright competitors, let me just run down the rules of the contest for the more…independently minded of you. Lindsay." He said. Lindsay was confused. She leaned over to Tyler and whispered

"What does independently minded mean?" She whispered.

"Uh…it means you're the prettiest girl on the show!" Said Tyler. Lindsay did a small squeal, and clapped her hands.

"I'm independently minded!" She cheered. Noah rolled his eyes, and Heather stifled a laugh. Chris cleared his throat to redirect the attention back to himself.

"Anyways, here are the rules." But before he could start, Bridgette cut him off.

"The teams will compete in challenges…" She began.

"And the losing team will go to elimination." Continued Noah.

"They will vote off a member." Chimed in Gwen.

"And the person who gets the most votes…" Laughed Cody,

"Will walk the Dock of Shame…" Giggled Katie.

"And never come back." Said Heather.

"Ever!" Finished Izzy. Everyone laughed, while Chris raised an eyebrow.

"Clearly you all read the manual. Anyways, so today, you will not only compete in your first challenge, but you will also be deciding the team captains by this afternoon." Said Chris.

"So soon? Sweet gorgonzola cheese Chris, we haven't even had lunch yet!" Cried out Owen. LeShawna slapped him on the arm.

"Ssh, you'll give him ideas." She said.

"I am not ready to go back to eating that sludge." Groaned Gwen. Chef Hatchet, who was standing behind Chris at the podium, glared at Gwen evilly. Gwen shivered.

"Hey! Stop redirecting the attention back to yourselves! This is my time!" Said Chris. LeShawna rolled her eyes.

* * *

**LeShawna**: That egotistical, sadistic shred of a man. So obsessed with fame a glory. What's the difference between Chris and the devil? Chris combs his hair to hide the horns.

**Chef Hatchet**: I slave and I slave for those dang unappreciative kids…and what do I get? I get smack talk, people throwin' up on my steaks, and I get food thrown at me. I hate teenagers.

* * *

"So, this game is going to be a little different to all the other seasons. For every challenge, there will be different rules, and a whole abundance of twists!" Said Chris.

"Blah, blah, blah, typical. Your twists are so common now, we're starting to view them as regular. This show is getting a little predictable." Said Noah.

"Oh, but I think this challenge will be the very opposite of predictable, Noah." Grinned Chris, mashing his hands together in glee, and cackling maniacally. Mixed responses came from the campers. Courtney, Heather, Eva and Alejandro smirked. DJ, Katie, Sadie, Lindsay and Beth whimpered. Noah, Gwen and LeShawna rolled their eyes. Izzy laughed along. Ezekiel sniffed Chris' shoes.

"Anyways, so your first challenge. Unfortunately, there are twenty-five of you. So if we have two teams, if we have three, even if we have four, the teams are still indivisible.

"Indivisible? You mean, they'll, like, disappear?" Asked Lindsay. Many campers stifled a laugh, and LeShawna put her hand on Lindsay's shoulder.

"Girlfriend, hush." She said.

"Not invisible, Lindsay. Indivisable. They'll be unequal." Said Chris. Lindsay was still confused.

"Anyways, so that means, before the teams are formed, one of you is going to be kicked off. And that person will be eliminated…Today. Not tomorrow, not in a week, today. Before midnight. No longer then today."

"Alright, you've established that it is today! Can we just move on?" Groaned Courtney.

"Okay, so here is the challenge. This time around, the amount of teams is…"

"Ooh! Ooh! I bet there are going to be four teams this time!" Said Sierra, waving her hand madly. Chris looked at her like she was crazy.

"Okay, I was saying, before Sierra rudely interrupted me..." Said Chris. Noah cut him off.

"But was she right?" Asked Beth innocently. Chris hesitated before hanging his head in shame.

"…Yes." He admitted. Most of the campers cheered, and Sierra took a bow.

"Anyways, so here is the challenge. There are four flags all over the island. Once you find a flag, you stay there. That is your team. The first person to reach a flag is team captain. Once six people have arrived at the flag, that means that the team is full, and anyone who comes must find another flag. Obviously, four flags, with only six people each equals twenty four spots. But there are twenty five of you." Snickered Chris.

"Ooh, a sudden death elimination. So unpredictable." Said Alejandro.

"That's right, it's sudden death. No bonfire ceremony, no marshmallows, one humiliating walk down the Dock of Shame." Said Chris, cackling. The campers began to fret endlessly.

"Oh my gosh, Katie, what if one of us goes home first?" Cried Sadie, biting her fingernails.

"Oh, that would be, like, so totally terrible! I would, like, die!" Said Katie, grabbing her best friend.

"I would also, like, die if you were first to leave!" Said Sadie, looking like she was on the verge of tears. Katie stopped.

"Wait, why would I be first to leave?" Asked Katie, raising an eyebrow.

"I, like, got further then you in Season One, remember?" Said Sadie.

"Yeah, right! You only got further then me because you got us lost in the woods!" Said Katie, frowning.

"No, that was you!" Protested Sadie. The two began to squabble mindlessly, and eventually it resulted in a slap fight. Alejandro came to split them up.

"Chicas, why can't we make peace? Why endanger your pure friendship over the past? Just dwell on…the present." Said Alejandro, in a seductive, and overly-Spanish tone. Katie and Sadie both stopped fighting, and fainted at the sight of Alejandro. Heather, watching from afar, snarled.

* * *

**Confessional**

**Heather: **Ugh, Alejandro is such a…ugh! Who does he think he is, using people to get what he wants? /She stops and notices the irony of what she is saying/ Oh yeah…well, I'm still a better person then him.

**Alejandro**: Those idiotic girls are eating food from the palm of my hand. And true, while my reputation did take a toll last season after what happened on the volcano…/shudders/ I still believe I can charm those poor ladies into doing whatever I want them to.

**Courtney**: If I can follow Duncan and Gwen to their flag, I can be on their team and eliminate them both! They deserve to go down after what they did to me last season!

* * *

"So, everyone, your first challenge begins…now!" Said Chris, and he blew an airhorn. Most of the campers scrambled out of the campsite, and ran into the woods.

They quickly divided into groups. Gwen and Duncan grabbed eachother immediately.

"I want to make sure we're on the same team." Said Gwen, smiling. Duncan grinned, and brushed a bang from her face. Gwen giggled, and the two went into the forest, holding hands. Courtney seethed with rage, and decided to follow them.

Katie and Sadie held hands in delight, when Justin ran up to them.

"Hey ladies, it's awfully dangerous in those woods, with all the bears, and such. Do you need a strong, tough man to protect you?" Said Justin, in his most seductive tone possible.

"Sorry, Justin. We're already going with Ale-hunk-dro." Said Katie. Alejandro waved at them, and they ran up to him, giggling like anything. He put his arms around their shoulders, as they descended into the woods. Justin was in disbelief. Even Katie and Sadie had blown him off.

"Hey, handsome. Want to go with me?" Said a seductive voice from behind him. Justin turned around, and there was Blaineley, making eyes at Justin.

"Uh, no thanks, Blainely. I'm good." Said Justin.

* * *

**Confessional**

**Justin** – I may be desperate, but I'm not THAT desperate…

* * *

"Eeee! Beth, Tyler, we so, like, totally have to go together!" Squealed Lindsay. Beth beamed as she grabbed her best friend's arm, and Tyler scooped Lindsay up, bridal style, and they all descended into the woods.

Blaineley was still trying to look for a partner. She saw Bridgette and Geoff, and she approached them.

"Hey, buddies! Just for old time's sake, how about we go together? What do you say?" Said Blaineley. Geoff scoffed.

"Yeah. 'Cha right. Why don't you just, like, kidnap us and send us to Siberia while you're at it." Said Geoff. He was still holding a grudge against Blaineley for shipping Bridgette to Siberia. Blaineley scowled, and went away. She came up to Ezekiel, who was scratching his ear with his foot. She pondered this for a moment.

"Yeah, not that desperate." She said, walking away. Ezekiel hopped away, to God knows where. Eva was trying to sneak off, but not before she was caught by Izzy.

"Who-ho-ho, pretty sneaky, Eva, trying to get away from us!" Said Izzy, wrapping her arms around Eva.

"And, what do you mean by…us?" Asked Eva, not wanting to know the answer.

Y'know, our group! Me, you and Noah!" Said Izzy, who was dragging Noah along, despite Noah's protests and screams.

"Okay, last time we did that was almost two years ago, and didn't it end with you abandoning us?" Protested Noah. Izzy ignored him.

"Well, this time, we're bringing Big-O with us!" Said Izzy, gesturing to Owen, who picked Noah and Izzy up in his trademark bear hug.

"Fabulous. An extra three hundred pounds of weight to bring along who needs to be fed every half hour." Said Noah.

"Hey! I'm not a baby! …But now that you mention it, I could go for a burger. And some fries. And some fried chicken. And maybe some ice-cream with chocolate sprinkles." Said Owen.

"Hey, can I come with you guys?" Called Justin. Noah raised an eyebrow.

"Did you actually just ask that? After last time?" Said Noah.

"Justin is our worst enemy. We need to make sure he goes down! Down to the depths of hell where Satan will torture him eternally and leave him to die in eternal pain and-" Said Izzy.

"Getting a bit ahead of yourself, Izzy." Said Noah. Izzy chuckled sheepishly.

"Whatever, let's just get this over with." Said Eva.

"Ole!" Cheered Izzy, who charged into the forest, with Noah, Eva and Owen in hot pursuit.

Meanwhile, Sierra picked up Cody and began to sprint through the forest. Cody was screaming at her to put him down.

* * *

**Confessional**

**Cody**: Don't get me wrong, I like Sierra as a friend, but the way she comes on is sort of intimidating, it's like I'm being smothered so hard I can't breathe!

**Sierra**: Cody is my future husband, I just know it! I see the way he looks at me all the time.

* * *

The remaining people were Harold, DJ, LeShawna, Blaineley, Heather, and Trent.

"I dunno about you two, but I'm going with Harold, DJ, and Trent. Blaineley, Heather, y'all can't be trusted." Said LeShawna. The foursome set off their own way. Blaineley faced towards Heather.

"So, where to, teamie?" Asked Blaineley. Heather chuckled for a second.

"No." She said, walking away

"Ugh!" Yelled Blaineley.

* * *

**Confessional**

**Blaineley**: Why don't people want to go with me? I'm fabulous! I'm a celebrity! And I'm only twenty-four! They're all eighteen! …Okay, fine, I'm twenty-seven.

* * *

**Katie, Sadie, Alejandro**

Katie and Sadie both snuggled up to Alejandro, whose Latino body kept them both warm.

"Say, chicas, I was wondering if, provided we are all on the same team, we could form an alliance?" Asked Alejandro.

"Ooh, an alliance. That sounds so romantic." Gushed Sadie.

"I know, right?" Giggled Katie.

"So we have an agreement." Said Alejandro. Both of the girls giggled. Katie brushed her hair out of her face and winked at Alejandro. Sadie noticed this, and misinterpreted it as Katie trying to steal Alejandro. So, she cuddled up against Alejandro's chest.

"Ooh, you're so, like, chiselled. You're like a perfectly made sculpture." Giggled Sadie coyly.

"Gracias, seniorita." Said Alejandro, in his trademark sexy, Spanish voice. Katie frowned and bit her lip.

"Alejandro, you're, like, the hottest guy ever. Heather, like, so does not deserve you. You deserve someone hot, tall, tanned, and fun." Said Katie, trying to be subtle but obviously failing. Sadie scowled silently.

"Being tall is overrated, and having big boobs is pretty important, right, Ale-hunk-dro? Not tiny little bean-bags like Katie's." Said Sadie. Katie gasped.

"At least mine aren't the size of, like, cantaloupes!" Said Katie. Sadie smirked.

"Bigger is better when it comes to these things." Said Sadie, twirling one of her pigtails.

"Yeah, not when it's, like, your butt! Yours is, like, humongous!" Said Katie. Sadie gasped.

"Oh you, did not just go there!" Yelled Katie. Alejandro saw what was happened, and broke them apart before they began fighting again.

"Ladies, please! I see what is going on here. You are fighting for my affections. Rest assured, I like you both equally. Our alliance will fall apart if you continue to bicker. Can't we just be equals?" Said Alejandro. Katie and Sadie swooned, soon forgetting what they were bickering about. As they were walking out, Alejandro grinned wickedly at the camera.

* * *

**Confessional**

**Alejandro**: What imbeciles. I can just flick my fingers and they're fighting like…hm, what are some historic conflicts I can compare them to? Iraq and Iran, the Spartans and the Trojans, Athena and Poseidon, Duncan and Courtney…

**Katie and Sadie**: /Katie/ Alejandro, is just so sexy, with his sweet, Spanish voice…/Sadie/ Ooh, what about his perfect abs! /Katie/ What about his perfect butt? /Sadie/ Oh, it such a great butt!

* * *

**LeShawna, Harold, Trent, DJ**

The ghetto girl, the lanky nerd, the musician and the gentle giant (a combination which most people thought was very odd) all walked together, trying to find any indication of a flag being anywhere. So far, hours into the challenge, they had not been triumphant. However, soon, Trent stopped them.

"Hey guys, look! It's a cave!"

They all stopped, and saw. LeShawna shivered. It was very ominous and dark.

"I say, we just keep moving. I don't like the look of that cave." Said LeShawna. DJ nodded, biting his fingernails.

"Guys, come on, what could Chris possibly put in there that could harm us?" Said Harold, throwing his arms up in the air.

"Have you been on this show before, string bean? Lions, tigers, bears?" Said LeShawna

"Oh my!" Squeaked DJ.

"I agree with Harold. If we know Chris, he'll probably put the flag in the most dangerous place possible. And that seems like a dead ringer to me." Said Trent, gesturing towards the cave.

"Well, how are we going to decide who goes in and gets to be captain?" Said LeShawna.

"Um, I think I don't want to be captain if it's in there—"

"Hush, DJ." Cut off LeShawna.

"How about this, we all go in together, and see if there's a flag." Said Trent. DJ looked most opposed.

"I think I'll stay out here." He said, suddenly looking very pale. LeShawna dragged him in, DJ screaming in fear.

The four were soon in the cave. The only noise heard was DJ's teeth chattering, and Harold's heavy breathing. Eventually, they were so far in that they couldn't even see the entrance anymore. Suddenly, LeShawna stopped.

"Please tell that was you brushing up against my feet, DJ." Said LeShawna.

"No, I'm all the way ove-wagghhhhh! SOMETHING'S GOT ME!" DJ screamed louder then he ever had before, and he sprinted—no, sprinted was an understatement. He absolutely bucketed towards the entrance. Not two seconds after, a growl rose from the cave. Trent, Harold and LeShawna all screamed and ran from the entrance.

* * *

**Izzy, Noah, Owen, Eva**

The crazy girl, the bookworm, the fitness buff and the lovable oaf were climbing the thousand metre cliff.

"Come on, Owen, you can do it!" Cheered Izzy, running behind Owen, and trying to push him, literally. She had no success in this endeavour.

"I can't do this!" Panted Owen, who was sweating so much that he left a tiny trail of water in his wake.

"Amen to that, brother." Said Noah, who was being carried up the cliff by Eva, bridal style. Izzy groaned.

"You're all so lazy! Why can't you all just be like Eva and I?" Said Izzy, who was bounding up the hill like a mountain goat.

"Do not compare you to me." Said Eva tonelessly. Eventually, after a long, long endeavour, they finally reached the top of the hill. Izzy picked up a flag, and cheered triumphantly.

"Woo-hoo! And the title of team captain goes to Captain Kaleidoscope, Esquire! And my teammates, Owen, Eva, and Noah-it-all!" Said Izzy. Noah raised an eyebrow at his new nickname, mentally praying that it didn't stick.

"You know what, crazy girl? I think I'll pass." Said Eva. Izzy's eyes bulged out.

"You'll what? If you say that word again, I'll throw you off this cliff, for being a traitor to Izzy's team of super-duper awesomeness!" Said Izzy.

"Once again, I pass. I need to go look for a better team, because look at us." Said Eva. She gestured to Owen and Noah

"We have Sergeant Sweaty, and the Sarcastic Moron, and we are lead by Canada's Most Wanted!" Said Eva

"How controversial." Muttered Noah under his breath.

"I can't afford the risks of this team. So sayonara." Said Eva, as she left, sprinting back down the hill, while Izzy was screaming curses at her.

**Confessional**

**Eva**: It was a calculated risk. It's more then likely that there is a better team out there. Whether I actually got onto one is the question. But I'd rather take the risk then settle for a team of morons. I am Eva, I do NOT settle! You hear me?

**Izzy**: Eva will pay for her crimes! I mean, she completely betrayed the team! I hope she gets eliminated. And damn right, I'm Canada's most wanted, and proud of it too!

* * *

**Remaining Groups**

**Gwen, Duncan, Courtney**

**Lindsay, Beth, Tyler**

**DJ, LeShawna, Trent, Harold**

**Alejandro, Katie, Sadie**

**Cody, Sierra**

**Geoff, Bridgette**

**Heather**

**Eva**

**Justin**

**Blainely**

**Ezekiel**

* * *

**So, what did you all think of my first episode? I hope you all liked it, because I certainly worked hard! Anyways, will Courtney get her revenge on Gwen and Duncan? Will LeShawna, DJ, Harold and Trent escape the bear cave unscathed? Will Alejandro continue to drive Katie and Sadie apart? Will Sierra ever give Cody a break? Will Heather be backstabbed by Alejandro? Will Eva's risk be the end of her? Will Justin get his mojo back? Will anyone ever like Blainely? So many questions, and it's only episode one! Anyways, find out on the next part of Total Drama Return!**


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